80s Baseball Player of the Day

It’s Opening Day… It’s April Fool’s Day… It’s the day Tony Pena cried when he found out he was being traded to St. Louis.

Play Ball!

Happy Birthday, Clint Hurdle.

I’d bet dollars to donuts (or take the Pepsi Challenge a la Lance from “Pulp Fiction”) that his birthday wish when blowing out his candles is to secure the Pittsburgh Pirates their first winning season since 1992.

At 58-43 heading into August, the Buccos are looking like a strong bet to end the longest losing drought in North American professional sports history.

Something about this photo of Big Mac’s face is unsettling.

His visage resembles a Goomba from the “Super Mario Bros.” movie.

And all this prior to his admitted steroid use.

Personally, this unattributed quote from his Wiki page slayed me.

He changed his clean-cut look and grew a mullet, a mustache, and a goatee to look more fearsome.

My theory is still that he grew all of that hair to hide his acne.

Great pitcher, amazing nickname (“The Terminator”), RBI Baseball stalwart?

Check, check, check.

Creepy looking nerd in almost all of his bubblegum cards? Also check.

Can’t mess with that career strikeout rate though.

The hirsute Bruce Sutter.

Hall of Famer, beard trendsetter, St. Louis Cardinal hero, World Series champion.

But most importantly, RBI Baseball shutdown reliever.

Also, is it just me or does Sutter resemble bro from “Beerfest?”

Despite being one of the top pitchers of the 1980s, John Tudor never made an All-Star team. Not once.

He still currently throws one of the best slurves in “RBI Baseball.”

Fret not, fans from the Twin Cities.

Your ball club might be 0-4 with dire prospects for the 2012 season, but you still have the halycon days when this burly bastard was manning the hot corner.

“Jump Steady”

One of the first offensive shortstops of the modern era. Seemingly more well-known for his bizarre antics — including brawling with Whitey Herzog in the dugout during his checkered tenure in St. Louis.

Managed to play 16 years in The Show, but probably goes down as another player from the 80s era that never lived up to his considerable potential.